Wtf is Moderation

I do everything in extremes.

In 2018 wanted to start a business, so I launched five startups in 5 months.

In 2016 wanted to travel, so instead of taking a vacation like a normal person would, I saved half of my salary and nomaded for three years.

I wanted to study abroad during college, so I picked Rio de Janeiro; a city where no one spoke English, the favela next to me shot down a helicopter, and parties sometimes involved gangsters with anti-aircraft missiles and machine guns. 🤷‍♀️

Are you seeing a trend here?

In quarantine, I'm seeing the same pattern. I've traveled somewhere new every single weekend, picked up landscape photography, learned how to bake (and of course I have a sourdough starter now), created two side projects, marketed myself via LinkedIn articles, re-taken up Twitter networking, done yoga every day this month, hiked every weekend, run every other day, made phone wallpapers, worked on personal growth for 30 min a day, learned more about investments, created a  new financial plan, cleaned up my eating, installed new shelving in my home, researched in depth where I should buy a home next year... are you exhausted yet?

I am. I am so so so so so tired.

And I wonder why I can't do more. I feel like I'm not doing enough.

Because while I'm focusing on a thousand different things, I'm not making time for the one thing that really matters to me; long-term asset building. That is the thing that scares me. That's the thing that all the other things are covering up for.

Omg. The other things are also quarantine drugs. They're there to relieve me from the ability to do the thing my heart wants. 💡

Lately, I've been envious of the people who are spending all of their free time playing Animal Crossing. I think it's a waste of time, which is why I haven't done it (always need to be leveling up... it's a curse) but man, does it sound nice. Sometimes I daydream that I'll take a year off of work someday and just cook and make art in the forest somewhere. Take naps in the sunshine. Lay in the grass and gaze at the clouds. Take up gardening or something slow and peaceful.

So basically, no I don't think Animal Crossing is pointless; it's a great way to unwind and replenish. De-stressing is really crucial... I just suck at it. I feel really guilty when I do it.

I really need to stop doing more. I need to rest. I need to find some moderation. I need to do things like Animal Crossing once in a while. And I need to free up space for the things I really care about.