Pretty much every single day of this year so far, I've been content. I'm happy! And even when I'm not happy, I'm still okay.
I'm fully enjoying my life right now.
And the coolest thing is, before, life would feel good but in a really spiky, scary way, and now it feels much smoother and healthier.
Let me show you:
Above, is what it used to feel like when I was in a good place. You know when you do a drug and you get high? How it feels kind of unsteady, things are kind of shaky, and before you know it, you're crashing hard and fast? Life was like that, with really intense, shaky feeling emotional highs followed by dizzying, dark, colorless crashes.
So every time I'd get to a good period of life, I'd also be secretly terrified, bc I knew the other shoe was BOUND to fall.
Now, when I get in a good period, it feels more like the graph below:
The highs and lows are much smoother for the most part. Sure, the highs aren't as HIGH but I'm also afraid of heights soooo, I prefer this way. 😉 Because my baseline is also a happier place than it was before. I can find joy in so many simple things.
Tbh, when I feel that really HIGH high these days, I know it's actually a warning sign, that I'm engaging in some kind of dysfunctional/addictive behavior and that I WILL crash.
Anyhow, I think this change is directly due to all the self-work I did last year, and continue to do today. Feeling thankful, and if you find you have a lot in common with me and want some advice, feel free to send me a DM: happy to share what's worked for me (without prescribing it to you).