I've Changed


A month and a half ago, I opened my swimsuit drawer to find a massive cockroach writhing around inside! (Also, you know you live in Texas when you have a swimsuit drawer.)

"AH OH MY GOD!" I yelled, jumping back, hitting my bed frame, staring open-eyed at a half-dead, half alive monster who was creepily extending its legs, antennae twitching, underneath my black one-piece, and I could die omg it was the creepiest most disgusting thing I'd ever seen!

Ugghghhhg omggg what do I ddoooooo, I thought while silently panicking. My roommate was just upstairs, I could just askkk ahhh! oh GOD it's moving again! nooo I can't ask him, I'll just...

"Nope, nope, nope, nope, noooope," I said as I slowly shut the drawer.

It stayed there, I assume, until the I day I moved out. I stopped using the drawer altogether. At night, I would hear other, healthier roaches shuffling papers around in my desk or bedside table and feel my heart racing, powerless to do anything about it.

I was still so scared of that roach in my drawer that the day I left, that I scooped it up in my swimsuit and threw away my swimsuit so that I wouldn't have to see it again.


Last night, I walked into my room in my new house and saw a big ole roach chillin' on my bed's pillow. Is there a worse place to see a cockroach?

I took a deep breath and silently walked to my closet. I calmly picked up a nice black leather boot, marched over to my bed, and in one fell swoop, smashed it dead. I cleaned it up, shut off the lights, and went to bed.

This morning, I called an exterminator as soon as they opened.

He'll be here on Wednesday.

I never have to worry about roaches in my room again.

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