Halloween Edition
A short story and some writing lessons
"When did you first know?" he asks.
Well, I thought multiverses could totally be a thing, I say.
I twist the ring on my finger, still getting used to its weight.
I thought we could be in a simulation and someone (or someones) were bored and flipping through all the possibilities of all the lives we all could live.
And out there, there was a reality where we were together.
"When did you first know?" he asks.
There was a reality where we had kids (kids!), where I got to wake up and kiss your neck while you smiled through eyes still closed.
Like last Tuesday, a little after midnight, in your master bedroom.
I could hear the crushed gravel of your sleepy voice in my mind, and I knew somewhere in time and space, I was hearing it for real.
"When did you first know?" he asks.
There are multiple realities where we end up this way.
I feel it.
I know it.
I stroke the polished cubic zirconia, and smile.
Also realities where we never meet. Where there's a small hole in the back of my heart that never gets filled, without knowing why.
"When did you first know?" he asks.
In this realm, I may never know the creak of your floorboards at 6:47 AM, or the soft sound of your morning tea being poured, a sound which, in some other life, is as familiar as my own breath.
"You freak!" you yell.
I may never touch your face, or taste your mouth.
But there's no small hole in the back of my heart nagging me. No ache for someone I'll never know.
And that is almost enough.
I fidget with the price tag on the band.
"When did you first know," the attorney asks.
The bailiff shifts behind me.
"Restraining order granted."
"You sick fuck," you say. "You'll never know me!"
Oh, but I do.
I touch your matching ring in my pocket.
And that is almost enough.
Happy Halloween! I thought a short creepy story was appropriate.
I played with three techniques in this story:
- using a 'chorus' in a story
- narration without quotation marks
- using objects as 'texture' in a scene
Chorus
This is when you repeat an element as if you would a chorus in a song.
In Fight Club, 'The First Rule of Fight Club...' is a chorus, used repeatedly throughout the book.
A cool thing you can do with a chorus is use it to span time/location, as a transition instead of waking up or fading to black, etc. Like... if you read 'The First Rule of Fight Club', that might put you in a basement every time- and you don't need to show the character going there, you can just use it as a 'cut to scene' kind of thing (I hope that made sense). I sorta recall Mr. And Mrs. Smith using the therapist scene as a kind of chorus to break up scenes in the movie, too.
This piece was too short to use a chorus as a transition, but in this case it helps structure the story.
"When did you first know?" is my chorus. I liked it because it could sound romantic, but then at the end you realize the attorney is the one asking.
Narration without Quotation Marks
This is useful when you want to fuck with reality a bit.
By putting her dialogue in without quotation marks, it makes her sentences less credible. How much of this is she thinking and how much is she saying? Is she paraphrasing? We'll never know.
One potential drawback here: I hope it's clear when she's thinking. I worry that the attribution is unclear. But it was still fun to learn and I'm experimenting with putting some of this in my book.
Using objects as 'Texture'
To make the narrator seem more physical and real to the reader, it can be useful to introduce an object for them to play with.
Think about all the old movies where the movie star fiddles with a cigarette. Same concept.
In this story, I chose an engagement ring. Can you imagine the story without it? It'd feel less like you were in the room with them. And of course it would take away from the creepiness of the scene.
Upcoming Travel Plans
I've been in the DC area for the last month and a half. Visiting family. Good times.
About to mosey back to Texas. I'll be in Austin from November 16-27. Hit me up if you want to hang.
Sending hugs,
Madi
PS: I learned these writing techniques from Chuck Palahniuk's newsletter, which I'm currently obsessed with