Stream of consciousness-type thinking while on a walk today.
I feel like it's too fucking late for me to do anything cool and I'm trying to forgive myself for not being current me when I was 15.
I wasn't too old to nomad though. And bc of it I'm interesting; I'm part of the people who live in the future.
I need to come up with a plan.
Every time you've not picked a course, you've failed at both courses that you've half-assed.
You can't choose to go 💯% with your current route. You CAN choose to go 100% with the route you're too scared to take.
So how do you overcome your fear?
You just do it. Fear be damned.
Maybe when you don't know what to start, you just start what you want and the action brings you to the thing you should be doing, the thing that's gonna work.
Just come up with your parameters and start shooting.
Cortes was 33. Before that, he was a sugar cane farmer. I'm younger than that. So if he could conquer an entire civilization at 33, then wtf, I can make things happen.
Cortes would tell me that I need a SINGLE focus. Cortes would tell me to stop fucking around and grab my destiny and burn my ships.
Btw, not condoning Cortes's actions at all.