1 min read

The feelings we never feel may be the feelings we feel the most

"I have never felt stressed in my life. Not once," he said.

I was shocked, because he'd recently lost his Dad, among other hugely traumatic events, and if I were in his shoes I would feel completely overwhelmed. And a few months later, he told me, "Madi, I didn't know what stress meant. Since you taught me, I feel it all the time. I feel it right now. My heart won't stop racing."

I wonder if our most pressing negative feelings are so much that we like... block ourselves from recognizing them?

I remembered this myself today. I'm kind of a workaholic and I use something called HALT to take breaks.

H- hungry

A- angry

L- lonely

T- tired

When I feel any of those emotions, it's a sign to stop working and take a break. Earlier in the week I realized, "I feel hungry, angry, and tired at times but never lonely."

I think it's because in COVID times, I'm low-grade lonely all the time. I think as a protective measure I just... block those feelings from my consciousness.

Which sucks, because if I could just recognize them, I'd hang out with friends more often and then not actually be a lonely person any more! I spent time with a lovely group of folks tonight and it was like eating a really satisfying meal.

I didn't realize how hungry I'd been, and for how long.