you never know what you want at the beginning
My good friend is going to move to a big tech hub and get a high salary and live that life for a while.
This same friend ditched their city apartment over the winter and instead spent it seaside out in the country. Spent all autumn walking through the forest, gazing at the thousands of shades of colors on the leaves and being struck by the beauty of it all. Fixed up an old cabin in the middle of nowhere over the weekend.
"[Moving to a tech hub] still feels like just something I need to do and get through. Maybe I won't enjoy it once I'm there, but still, I need to do it for some reason."
He might as well be me. I had to move to Austin for the same reasons. And I'm glad I did!
But it's funny... I came here for a very specific type of life and to my amazement I'm actually living it! I feel so lucky! But sometimes we get exactly what we want and then realize it's not true to us.
A couple years ago I wrote in my diary, "I heard lately that you try things and inevitably it’s not what you wanted but it’s CLOSER to what you wanted than before, and you just keep pivoting and trying new things and getting closer and closer to what it is you really want. Because you never really know what you want at the beginning, so you have to do things to learn."
I still agree with that. With each pivot, I get closer.