stories from my travels: the Land of Enchantment

New Mexico: 7/1

It's pitch black 75 stories below ground and my open eyes register nothing and my breath catches and I don't know up from down and my hands quiver and my head feels spinny and I try to calm myself but I can feel it slipping feel myself being pulled under feel it crash everything gone there's no escaping this one I'll never–

"This is what the first explorers experienced," his voice rings out from the void. I can track his voice to just a couple feet away, and my fingers stop tingling, and my shoulders soften, and my heart steadies. His footsteps walk by, and I can breathe again.

He lights a flame inside an old kerosene lantern, illuminating his too-perfect face, the face I struggled for the last hour to tear my eyes from even though I'm in one of the most spectacular places I've ever seen, and I wonder for a moment if this is actually just a dream, here in the middle of fuck-nowhere, 812 feet underneath the Earth, with my future husband lighting a flame in the dark.

You know how some people are universal hot, like... everyone thinks they're hot? And then some people are your TYPE. This man is my TYPE. I'm sure my girlfriends would laugh but, to me, his every detail is crafted specifically to make me melt.

And then he begins to sing.

Yep, definitely a dream. No way I meet the hottest man on Earth and he illuminates an impenetrable darkness and starts singing. This is some weird movie-ass shit.

His voice is off-key, and he doesn't care (which is even hotter), and we all feel vulnerable listening, and someone next to me giggles before we fall silent and listen to the steady drip of the stalactites and the low baritone of his operatic singing as he walks past us.

Smile at a guy when you like him. I can hear my friend Will's voice in my mind. Hold eye contact. Open a door so he can walk through it.

But he's doing his job, Will, I say even though Will is in Colorado and I'm in New Mexico. Yet, since I'm clearly in a dream, maybe Will can hear me.

See, Will? I clearly can't bother him. Truth is, I'm just chickenshit. Show me a cute guy and I will literally run in the opposite direction instead of acknowledging his existence.

"Anyone have a word to describe this place?" hottie park ranger asks when the lights come back on.

"Ethereal," I say, still looking at his face. The group murmurs in agreement. Unconventional Stunner locks eyes with me.

"I've never heard that one before," he says, sounding impressed.

My eyes immediately fall to the ground. Damnit!

Sorry, Will. I'm chickenshit today.

Good thing it was just a dream. Right? ...Right?

Sigh.