Rituals are important.
This bottle of champagne, a gift from a figure in my past, has been sitting on the bottom of my fridge, haunting me for months. I was going to throw it away, but my then-roommate said, 'You should drink it instead, as a fuck you.'
So this weekend when I visited my good friend Melissa, I asked if we could share it and shut that door for good.
"I know a woman who visits this ocean every full moon, and she burns letters and lets go of the past," Melissa said as we stood outside, listening to the crashing of waves and looking out at the sea. "And tonight is a full moon!"
We laughed and toasted to closure. A dreamy fog descended on us, and as we drank and feasted by the ocean, the moment felt special, and real, and finite.
Doing it as a special occasion, with a small group I felt safe with, made it official. I felt all of my resentment and 'unfinishedness' drain as the bottle got emptier. We shared in my pain, in my healing, and my joy at the future.
I let it all go. It's gone now. That door is closed.
There's a reason we have rituals for births, deaths, marriages, etc. They work! And next time I need to transition from one state to another, I will remember this.