2 min read

Did I have a summer fling with myself?

This is my last week in Southern Colorado, and I don't know if a single trip has ever changed me so drastically in such a short amount of time.

I pushed myself to my limits. I drove the sketchiest roads and hiked the highest peaks of my life. I camped alone for the first time in my life then did it again! I hitchhiked for the first time. I peed in public while strangers formed a human shield (I mean, when you're above treeline there's not much of another option!)

I did a lot of things that really scared me, but... I learned where my limits are. And they're bigger now than they were.

exploring up above treeline in the tundra

And I also LIVED to my limits. I bought a 20 lb (9kg) box of peaches, picked that morning in a local orchard, and ate every single one. I gasped in awe at a meteor shower at 3 am in the middle of a forest in the mountains. I watched sunsets in national parks, the breeze blowing through my hair as I sat cliffside.

And I met the most wonderful people who made me so happy to be alive.

Court, me, and Jae
Isabel in her van on a canyontop in Utah

I feel like this version of me is the best one, and I'm scared that when I leave, she'll get left behind too.

There are no mountains in Austin.

What if I go back and I forget the way I was here? I love this woman. She is so alive, so in tune with herself, so healthy inside and out.

What if she goes away when I do?