How I protect myself from judgement/rejection

May 12, 2021

"I don't know if you could do anything to make me not like you. Like, I'm thinking deeply about it, and... nothing."

"Same. Completely." I respond. And I mean it! Dinners with Amber and Tim are like being in one warm emotional hug for two hours straight. I feel so supported, accepted and seen with them.

It's got me thinking; I've been putting a lot of effort into making friends and it's a bit scary. With new friendships you don't really know if it's real for a while; until the relationship has been tested, you don't know if they've got your back (and vice versa). For a while, each of you is just feeling the other person out, and it's kind of a shaky thing.

But having Tim and Amber in my corner helps me feel safe no matter what. Even if every new friend I'm making falls through, I know there are two really awesome people here in Austin who adore me and who do have my back through thick and thin. It gives me the strength to go out and make new friends without as much fear.

I was thinking, this probably applies to many areas of life. Like, I have a 'hype list' of people I admire who believe in me, career-wise. When I get down on myself, I go to that list and read the quotes from people who matter to me. And I pick myself up and keep going.

If I take any new chance, even if 99% of the world disagrees with me, as long as I have just one or two people who I trust who do agree, that's probably all I really need.

Madison Taskett

Austinite 🌮 experimenting in my job and personal life, always optimizing for disproportional returns. :) This blog is a daily look into my mind. It's raw, honest, and reflective, and I post often.