I've been feeling blah and greyscale, feeling really overwhelmed too; like my to-do list has blades for hands and it's closing in, its shadows making puppets with big teeth and no eyes.
And my first instinct is to shut my eyes and remove all the sharp and scary obligations from my plate. To clear it and make space for seeds to grow into flowers, for color to bloom again in my mind. That makes sense, right? Clear out the weeds, make room for good things to grow.
But I keep forgetting the second part of the equation- planting my favorite flowers once I clear everything out.
What I keep trying to remove overwhelming obligations but then still feeling this malaise because nothing is sparking life in me. Which makes me want to retreat within myself even more to come up with energy within, when actually I do need to go out and find that energy. Like, I need inspiration for my mind to create, obvi.
Last summer I realized this when I went to Colorado. I added hiking and nature and scenic drives and night photography to my plate and watched my world bust into color. I had way more energy and I wasn't cutting anything out.
So note to self, when I feel overwhelmed, yes it's okay to stop doing things that drain me. But I gotta take more time to think about what inspiring, magical things I should be replacing those draining activities with.