Making extra players to get extra lives

It's annoying, but when I have a crush on a cute guy, my personality shuts down to 'battery save mode', my color turns to grey, and I can't access all of my applications.

It's like I'm playing a video game and I create an NPC version of myself as a shield, so I can get extra lives.

This extends to more than just dating. I've spent many years watching NPC Madi play out her life. And she makes big decisions for us. She moved us to Austin. She dated our ex. She picked our career. She even bought my house.

She hasn't made bad decisions by any means, but they're not honest. They're the safe versions of the things I want.

So if something bad happens to not-Madi, that's okay, real Madi is protected.

But then real Madi never gets to play the game.